{"id":36017,"date":"2015-04-21T10:28:21","date_gmt":"2015-04-21T14:28:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gunsamerica.com\/blog\/?p=36017"},"modified":"2015-04-21T10:28:21","modified_gmt":"2023-08-18T16:13:41","slug":"five-insanely-offensive-last-resort-tips-to-stop-a-rape","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gunsamerica.com\/digest\/five-insanely-offensive-last-resort-tips-to-stop-a-rape\/","title":{"rendered":"Five Insanely Offensive ‘Last Resort’ Tips to Stop a Rape"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is a tasteless article. Let\u2019s get that out of the way right now. It\u2019s designed to satirize the insane advice given by anti-gunners to women who are actively being raped.<\/p>\n

You know what advice I\u2019m referring to, right?<\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t, a few years ago, the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs released 10 \u201clast resort\u201d tips<\/a> to deter a sexual assault.<\/p>\n

\"The<\/a>

The notorious “What to Do If You Are Attacked” list published by the geniuses over at the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs.<\/p><\/div>\n

Notably absent on that list was anything that would actually stop a determined rapist dead in his tracks. In other words, \u201cCarry a concealed firearm\u201d was not on the list. But that was by design. See the do-gooders and bleeding hearts at the university don\u2019t believe that a firearm in the hands of a law-abiding and responsible female student would be of any assistance to her should her life or sexual autonomy be threatened.<\/p>\n

Why don\u2019t these school leaders trust women with guns? Well, maybe they think along the same lines of Democratic State Rep. Joe Salazar, who said<\/a> the following about women and guns, \u201cBecause you just don’t know who you are going to be shooting at. If you feel like you’re going to be raped or if you feel like someone’s been following you around or if you feel like you’re in trouble and when you may actually not be — that you pop out that gun and you pop-pop a round at somebody. And you might have just made a mistake.”<\/p>\n

In Salazar\u2019s mind, women aren\u2019t capable of discerning when they are under attack. I can imagine someone with Salazar’s mindset questioning a victim, Why did you shoot him! Yeah, sure he was stalking you and he\u2019s a registered sex offender with a long rap sheet of various unmentionable perversions, but how do you know he wasn\u2019t just going to hold you down awhile and give you a noogie?! How did you know that you were actually being assaulted? You made such a terrible mistake!
\n<\/em>
\nCrazy, isn\u2019t it? It should be noted that Salazar later apologized for his comments. But the attitude still remains as does this question, if anti-gun college officials and politicians are telling women they can\u2019t defend themselves with the optimal tool for the job, then what are they, in effect, telling female students?<\/p>\n

This is precisely where the \u201clast resort\u201d tips come in. Instead of carrying a firearm, they are telling women who are being raped to \u201cTell your attacker that you have a disease or are menstruating.\u201d I\u2019m not joking, that\u2019s tip number six on the list.<\/p>\n

\u201cVomiting or urinating may also convince the attacker to leave you alone,\u201d is tip number seven. But in a perverse way my personal favorite is tip number five, \u201cIf your life is in danger, passive resistance may be your best defense.\u201d<\/p>\n

Really?!!! That\u2019s tantamount to saying, \u201cBe a victim\u201d! Or, \u201cJust take it.\u201d Seriously, can you imagine giving your mother or sister or wife or girlfriend or partner that advice? I sure as hell can\u2019t.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m revisiting this list now because as campus carry continues to be a hotly debated issue around the country it helps to remind the public of the messages that both sides are sending to young women. In a nutshell, pro-gunners are trying to empower female students to take responsibility for their personal safety while anti-gunners are preparing them to be victims. In the spirit of that absurd position, the resignation that our mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, etc., are victims in the waiting, here are five other \u201clast resort\u201d tips to deter a rape:<\/p>\n

Reciting a song from \u201cCats\u201d the Musical<\/strong><\/p>\n

What rapist, let alone any man, could stand to listen to a song from \u201cCats\u201d for more than a few seconds. Whether it\u2019s a Griddlebone number or a Bustopher Jones solo or a Mr. Mistoffelees aria, women should pick a song and memorize it. During a rape, the young lady should launch into the song which should send the perp running.<\/p>\n

Planking<\/strong><\/p>\n

No one knows why it is was popular but at some point in then last few years people thought mimicking a plank of wood \u2014 hence the term \u201cplanking\u201d \u2014 was funny or cool or entertaining. It involves lying face down with one\u2019s hands at one\u2019s side in a stiff and rigid posture. Again, just like a plank. Stupid, yes; very stupid. But it went mainstream. Women should consider this while being assaulted. The rapist may think that you\u2019re actually a piece of wood or that you\u2019re so 2013, i.e. behind the times, that\u2019ll he\u2019ll just walk away in disgust.<\/p>\n

Capture on a Selfie Stick<\/strong><\/p>\n

Selfie sticks are common these days. Women should always have them handy. And in the event of a rape, well, women should simply record the confrontation and immediately post it to social media. Don\u2019t forget to use #I\u2019mBeingRaped and #Help!.<\/p>\n

Defecate<\/strong><\/p>\n

The initial list stopped short of defecation. Why? If one is willing to vomit and urinate, why not take this unseemly strategy to its logical conclusion and advocate for evacuating one\u2019s bowels?<\/p>\n

Of course it\u2019s demeaning and degrading and downright gross, but (to the bleeding hearts) it\u2019s not nearly as bad as carrying a concealed firearm. No, that is simply beyond the pal. Women should shit themselves as they\u2019re being raped before they should be allowed to carry a gun.<\/p>\n

So yeah, women should defecate during an attack. \u00a0To aid in the process, women should always have laxatives in their purses.<\/p>\n

Rape the Raper<\/strong><\/p>\n

Arguably the most controversial tactic, why don\u2019t women just rape the raper? That is to say, turn the tables on the perv. Heck, there\u2019s that old saying, \u201cIf you can\u2019t beat em, join em.\u201d Well, if you can\u2019t beat him at his own game, you might as well start playing too.<\/p>\n

Conclusion<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yeah, I understand. All of what was just said was rather disgusting and offensive and inane. But that was the point, to parody the logic of bleeding hearts. And quite truthfully, to me, it\u2019s no more disgusting or insulting or inane than telling a woman that \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t carry a firearm because we don\u2019t trust you to identify a credible threat.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now, I also understand that critics will argue that there is a middle ground between carrying a firearm and singing cats and\/or vomiting on oneself to deter a rape. And I agree on that. There are other things women can do to bolster their defense posture short of carrying concealed, i.e. self-defense classes, carrying a less-lethal device like a taser, traveling in groups while on campus, etc.<\/p>\n

However, I believe that it\u2019s ultimately a woman\u2019s right to choose what tool or self-defense technique suits her needs. Therefore, it is wrong — not to mention unconstitutional — to take the optimal tool for the job off the table with bans on concealed carry. Sure, not every female college student believes that carrying a gun will make them safer. But for the one\u2019s that do, for the one\u2019s who would prefer to carry over embrace a list of insanely stupid \u201clast resort\u201d tips, I think the least we can do as a society is allow them to exercise their right to keep and bear arms.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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