{"id":132083,"date":"2020-07-30T09:27:42","date_gmt":"2020-07-30T13:27:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.gunsamerica.com\/digest\/?p=132083"},"modified":"2020-07-30T09:27:42","modified_gmt":"2023-09-06T22:54:18","slug":"antifas-top-5-weapons","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gunsamerica.com\/digest\/antifas-top-5-weapons\/","title":{"rendered":"ANTIFA\u2019s Top 5 Weapons"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"ANTIFA\u2019s<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Editor’s Note<\/em>:<\/strong> This article was written by Trace Munson and was first published by our friends over at Freedom’s Lodge<\/a>.<\/em> It is being syndicated here on GunsAmerica with their permission. We hope that you find it as amusing as we did \ud83d\ude42<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you\u2019ve been living under a rock, you have no doubt heard of ANTIFA<\/strong><\/a>\u2013and that would probably be because some ANTIFA dork took that rock off the top of your head and hurled it at a cop. ANTIFA, which in the amusing doublespeak of the anti-gunner stands for \u201canti-fascist,\u201d has been quite busy of late. Between fomenting riots<\/strong><\/a>, breaking windows<\/strong><\/a>, and setting downtowns on fire, they have also found the time to create some\u2026interesting<\/em>\u2026weapons technology.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the interest of investigative journalism, I recently went undercover and infiltrated an ANTIFA weapons engineering center. I assure you that it was a fascinating tale of bravery and derring-do, but you\u2019ll have to take my word on that one. Having escaped by a red Pelosi hair, I have returned with their latest top-secret technology. Sit back and prepare to be impressed by the top 5 weapons of America\u2019s latest media darlings!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"ANTIFA\u2019s<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

1. High-Impact Right Rectangular Prism<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

This ANTIFA weapon is, in many ways, the cornerstone of their armory. Seasoned shooters may marvel at the ballistic insufficiency of this three-dimensional rectangle, but in field use the high-impact right rectangular prism (HIIRP) has proven quite effective at shattering store windows. Although its size and weight make the HIIRP difficult to conceal in an everyday carry rig<\/strong><\/a>, ANTIFA has solved this problem by strategically leaving cached supplies<\/strong><\/a> of this remarkable feat of Communist engineering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"ANTIFA\u2019s
Dad, put money on my university meal card.<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

2. Aromatic Hydrocarbon Incendiary Device<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s another astonishing innovation from the top minds of ANTIFA: the aromatic hydrocarbon incendiary device (AHID). This advanced technology uses a combination of fused silicates, hydrocarbon fossil fuels, and a special matrix constructed of 50% cotton and 50% poly. Once assembled, the AHID can function both as a ballistic weapon and as an incendiary device\u2013if the impact doesn\u2019t disable the target, the burst of flame will. This high-tech addition to the ANTIFA arsenal is just proof positive of how collectivism drives innovation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"ANTIFA\u2019s<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

3. Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Although Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation is actually a technology that was developed prior to the existence of ANTIFA, they\u2019re certainly proud to claim it. Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation is a bit of a tongue-twister, though, so ANTIFA is considering calling this the\u00a0Oedipus Stick<\/strong><\/a>. Because their own mommies either didn\u2019t love them enough (or maybe way too much), they\u2019re now driven to point Oedipus Sticks into the eyes of law enforcement personnel in an attempt to\u00a0permanently blind them<\/strong><\/a>. (But that\u2019s okay because at least they\u2019re not using guns!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"ANTIFA\u2019s
That\u2019s weird. It usually takes at least a year for Communism to cause food shortages.<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

4. Personnel Offensive Olfactory Tear-Gas<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s very clear from the design of the Personnel Offensive Olfactory Tear-Gas (POOT) weapon that ANTIFA has taken its cue from law enforcement. Unlike the PepperBall, tear gas, or oleoresin capsaicin spray, the POOT is auto-replenishing and designed for easy in-body concealment. My research at ANTIFA has proven that the power behind the POOT is, in fact, the very same vegan food demanded by the protest leader in the tweet above.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s unclear how this technology was originally developed, but ordinary citizens can experience the devastating power of the vegan-food powered POOT by walking down the aisles at their local Trader Joe\u2019s (although we strongly recommend a little Vick\u2019s Vapo-Rub under the nostrils if you attempt this experiment).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"ANTIFA\u2019s
Get enough of them lined up and you\u2019ll have a Human Communi-pede!<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

5. Media Sycophants<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Confession time: I didn\u2019t actually find any media sycophants in the ANTIFA armory that I infiltrated. That\u2019s because ANTIFA\u2019s ultimate weapon is a media that is doing everything in its power to cast their brick-hucking, Molotov-cocktail throwing, cop-blinding, city-burning activities as \u201cpeaceful protest<\/strong><\/a>.\u201d This is in contrast to the way that media treated the \u201cEnd the Quarantine\u201d protestors, who were cast as violent and dangerous nut-bags<\/strong><\/a>. (Never mind that there were exactly zero instances of violence of any kind<\/em> at the armed \u201cend the quarantine\u201d protests.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that\u2019s where the true weapons innovation genius is within ANTIFA\u2026you don\u2019t need your weapon to be sophisticated when you have a media willing to do every other single bit of dirty work for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Did we miss an ANTIFA weapon? Let us know in the comments if your urban espionage has turned up anything new!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trace<\/em><\/strong>, a proud Special Farces who goes commando, is dedicated to pubic service. Although he\u2019s a legend among YouTube commenters, he actually began life as a humble dingleberry farmer. Now, no subject is too moist or sensitive for his incisive odor and scintillating lymph nodes.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

***Buy and Sell on GunsAmerica!<\/a>***<\/h2>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In the interest of investigative journalism, I recently went undercover and infiltrated an ANTIFA weapons engineering center.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":115,"featured_media":132084,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_specdata_upc":"","_specdata_placement":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[132,586],"featured":[],"hunt365":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-132083","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-uncategorized","8":"tag-buzz","9":"tag-column"},"yoast_head":"\nANTIFA\u2019s Top 5 Weapons<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In the interest of investigative journalism, I recently went undercover and infiltrated an ANTIFA weapons engineering center.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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