Gun Control

“I joined the NRA and Gun Owners of America because the groupthink that I once spewed hurts law-abiding citizens and does nothing to prevent the next deranged copycat criminal,” writes Goodman.

“Go for a vote this week before it fades. Tap peoples emotion. Make it simple assault weapons,” advised Emanuel.

It’s time we publicly torture mass killers. Let’s pluck out their eyes with hot pincers, splash frothing sulfuric acid on their genitals and, just about the time they’re starting to convalesce, bury them alive in a hill of agitated African army ants.

“The first thing I can tell people who are facing this sort of thing in their state is to get as informed as you can,” said Mitch. “Then rally all the like-minded people that you can muster. The collective voice will help you sway a couple politicians your way, and maybe you can shut these kinda things down.”

Upon graduating Sunday, Bennett decided to make a statement. She slung an AR-10 over her shoulder and strutted around the premises in a white sundress.  No longer a student, it was perfectly within the law and the university’s policy on guns for her to do so.

Not even a full week in office and National Rifle President Oliver North is already making headlines.  Maybe for the wrong reasons…

“Or is the problem the individual driver, rather than the equipment he turns into a weapon,” Gottlieb challenged. “Once you realize how absurd it is to call a car an ‘assault vehicle,’ you see the lunacy of defining, and then banning, so-called ‘assault rifles.’”

“I can go lay an AK-47 in the middle of a gymnasium during a basketball game, and I promise you it won’t kill one person,” he said. “It’s not until someone picks it up that it becomes dangerous.”

Last call for bump stocks! Slide Fire Solutions, the preeminent manufacturer of reciprocating stocks, is closing its doors on May 20.